Sometimes people come into my office at war with their feelings. They may say things like "I don't want to be angry anymore--I become this horrible person", or "I hate being so weak, why can't I just get over it?". Other times, people may be in more of a power struggle with their emotions, for example, holding back tears while thinking or talking about something very sad. On the other end of the spectrum, some people may have difficulty connecting at all with their feelings, for example, they may speak of what seems to be a deeply sad experience, but don't seem to feel the sadness at all.
These are a few ways that we can block our "Emotional Flow". We may not even be aware of it. We might do it to protect ourselves against emotions that feel too strong, or protect ourselves from potential embarrassment, rejection or shame in our vulnerable state. Regardless of why we do it, blocking our Emotional Flow hurts us. When are feelings are unable to be experienced and released, they are more likely to be stored in our bodies, pushed down like a volcano--just waiting to erupt.
Getting Your Flow On
Remember that "no feeling is final". Feelings come and go like clouds. They are temporary.
Tune in to your body and mind. What emotions are present? How do they feel in your body?
Give your feeling a voice. If you are feeling angry, what is your anger telling you? Can you problem solve your way through it? For example, if someone broke a boundary, can you talk to the person, or find another way to reduce the risk that it will happen again? If it's not a problem solving kind of problem, what can you do to take care of your anger? Take a deep breath? Go for a walk? Listen to music? If you're feeling sad, can you let yourself cry? Take a 5 minute break in the bathroom? Write a sad poem?
Tune back into your body. Can you imagine the emotion and the physical and physiological feelings in your body working their way through? From your chest through to your feet? Or from your arms down to your feet? Can you imagine the emotion flowing through and out of your body?
Good Flow Comes with Good Balance
If you're uncomfortable with certain emotions, it's hard to find a good Flow. Flow requires trust and openness--those are difficult if you've been hurt or have felt out of control of your feelings in the past. That's why it's important to maintain a Good Balance. Flow means connecting with your feelings, but also containing them. Maybe in the beginning, you spend just enough time "Tuning into your body and mind", and set a time limit for "Giving your feeling a voice". Maybe focus much of your time "Tuning back into your body", imagining the emotion working through and out. As you feel more safe with your emotions, your Flow will get stronger, and as you have stronger, more consistent Emotional Flow, you will feel even more safe within yourself.
Creating Space Counseling and Wellness can help you to strengthen your Emotional Flow, so that you can feel more safe inside your own mind and body. When you are able to trust in yourself, you are able to find freedom from distressful emotions, and bring your best self to the world!
Call today to schedule an appointment! 856-281-1664