Updated: Apr 1, 2019
We all have an inner critic. You know the one, the part that tells you that you’re too fat, too skinny, not smart enough, and the one who is always right there when you make a mistake. The inner critic can sound really convincing! We can easily get caught up in its web of disparaging lies.
Many people not only get caught up in their inner critic, but some people believe that their inner critic is the one that will help them motivate, or change for the better.
I'm writing today to set the record straight!
The Truth About Your Inner Critic:
1. It’s a liar.
2. It is just one voice in your mind filled with many voices.
3. It will never help you to create lasting change.
4. Your inner critic only makes you feel bad about yourself and keeps you stuck in self-defeating behaviors
Self-compassion is a healthy, more accurate alternative to your inner critic. While your inner critic may label you an idiot for making an error, your self-compassion will correctly remind you that everyone makes mistakes. While your inner critic may tell you that you’re too sad, too angry, too much, your self-compassion will tell you that you’re going through a hard time right now and that you have the right to your feelings. And while your inner critic may scold you for failing a test, your inner critic will remind you that you worked really hard for a very difficult test and that you will try again.
Is Self-Compassion Too Enabling?
Some of us have inner critics that are so loud, they find ways to doubt any acts of showing kindness to ourselves. For example, you might find yourself wondering, "Isn't that enabling? or coddling?". If those kinds of thoughts sound familiar, please know that shame, guilt and punishment do not encourage kids or adults to try again. Compassion and positive expectations/praise, on the other hand, do increase our motivation to change. So, no, for this reason, practicing self-compassion is not “enabling”.
What Does Practicing Self-Compassion Look Like?
I'm glad you asked! Here are some links that will take you to more information and a guided meditation (less than 5 minutes) to get you in your way! Start by reading here: Compassion. Then choose a meditation: Compassion Guided Meditation Female Facilitator, Compassion Guided Meditation Male Facilitator.
At Creating Space Counseling and Wellness, you can learn how to connect with self-compassion so that you can talk back to and quiet down your inner critic. When you practice self-compassion, you are more able to reach your goals and genuinely Connect with your best self!
Call today to schedule an appointment! 856-281-1664