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  • Writer's pictureDayna Sharp, LCSW

The Myth of Happiness

Sometimes the idea that we "should" be happy can hurt more than it helps.

I'm going to start this post off with a bold, direct truth: The very essence of being human hurts. There is no way around it. We are born with an innate need for relationships and attachments and at the same time human lives--the very lives that we depend upon--are temporary. For human beings, love, loss and the anxieties this dilemma evokes are at the core of our experience, from infancy through adulthood.

We do our best to forget, we get caught up in the busyness of life, we get distracted by the latest consumer trends, but sometimes love, loss and anxiety reminds us of its presence. Maybe it's something we see on the news, a reminder of how out of control we feel due to politics. Maybe it's an ongoing argument with your partner that's beginning to threaten the stability of your relationship. Perhaps a loved one has been diagnosed with cancer. Maybe you've had a baby, and the amount of love you feel for them also comes along with a haunting fear of loss.

Human life is hard. In our culture, we're often sold this idea that we should be "happy". The "science of happiness" tells us that if we practice gratitude, generosity, empathy and dare to dream, that we too can be happy. And surely, there's room for all of these practices, and I bet they would help us to experience pleasurable moments.

But it's not realistic or desirable to feel happy all of the time.

Rather than attempting a pursuit of happiness, what would it be like to pursue an honest life, one in which we acknowledge and validate all of our feelings. A life where we can accept that there will be moments of joy, moments of fear, moments of love, moments of frustration, moments of grief, moments of connection. The push to "happify" can be strong, but at Creating Space Counseling and Wellness, instead of seeking the unrealistic and unattainable, you will be supported and challenged to find balance. Balance of various moments and feelings. And acceptance that they are all a part of a beautiful, genuine, you.

Your best self.

Call today to schedule an appointment. 856-281-1664

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